Overwhelming Acres

Another day another pile of poo... as I trudged up the field with a brimming wheelbarrow it occurred to me how much the damn stuff weighs it also occurred to me that two creatures originally bred as beasts of burden where watching my toil with distracted amusement munching hay. Surely something wrong with this picture.
Felled Leylandii finally out of the mare's paddock, we are saving up for a woodchipper I look forward to watching their repulsive branches being slowly devoured :> can anyone think of a good reason to grow these bastards?
Went bazzing round the cross-country course with Elder Son. Very therapeutic.

Sung to the tune of 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt-
"It's bloody cold
It's bloody cold
It's bloody cold
Out here..."

Yeesh! It was fweezing today but the neds weren't bothered at all however it was definitely Hat Weather for me. Poo-picked the field in subzero temperatures how heroic am I . Defintitely need to start making a few friends in the town as I may be starting to go a bit weird- went to get the post out of the postbox naked just for a laugh Tescoman delivered today so that could have been quite awkward.
Lots of friends coming to stay at weekends half term etc but def need a few local contacts, one lady met on bridleway coming over friday which should be nice, hope I'm not talking to the water butt by then..
Nice shopping trip into Smallville today, as usual everyone chatty happy and helpful I think they may be robots have made it a mission to find someone surly and sour.

Today we had an Easterly wind straight up the valley and into every gap in my clothing. Horses were toasty under their rugs and I am particularly pleased with Bad Boy's bargain from Tesco (!)he and Dafydd very pleased to come in and have some grub and naps in their stables. Played with them in the school for a bit then back to the everest of ironing.
Yard Cat appeared in the kitchen last night sitting in House Cat's fave spot looking quite smug. House Cat somehow felt that crapping on the Vile Bathroom carpet was a suitable response. My feelings were vented by much as I picked cat poo out of the shag pile then ejected her from the house. Sometimes I feel all I do is deal with animal leakage and excretion, soon I swear the horses will come and relieve themselves in the sitting room. When we get the money to do up the Elizabethan Hovel there will be no carpet anywhere in fact all the rooms will flush.

Seriously havent felt this since I gave up being an aerobics teacher. Jeans noticably looser today if the livery business goes tits up I may open up as a a fat farm. OH fell asleep on sofa at 5pm he has been fixing fences and gates and other manly stuff all day- we really should have done this 10 years ago, the onset of middle age is an incredibly dumb time to take on a project like this. Wine tasting and competitive baking at a push, 40 rambling acres to maintain just asking for lumbago, shattered knees and unscheduled senile napping.
Elder Son has flabbergasted us all by metamorphosising into some kind of born-again farmboy driving the tractor levelling sandschool splitting logs and this morning even got up at 7 to get cracking on bringing the firewood up from the barn. Weird.
It didnt rain the whole weekend *punches air*
I'm off to fall asleep in an unattractive fashion in front of the telly.

Ok its been nearly a month since we upped and moved from scuzzy but hip Sarf Landen to an Elizabethan hovel in Surrey.....I know I should have started this earlier but hell I've been busy!
We moved on winter solstice, yup darkest day of the year and a day that was graced with freezing winter fog that had brought Heathrow to a standstill. I had a virus- a forehead you could have boiled a kettle on (if you could have found it)and stood in the coutryard directing the Muppet Show as the removers stood with a box marked 'KITCHEN-FARMHOUSE' and asked me "Where does this go luv?" I just wanted to go to bed and cry with enough ibuprofen to bring down an elephant but instead had 90 cardboard boxes 1 leaking Farmhouse 1 cottage full of our crap 2 puzzled dogs 1 baffled cat 2 chilly snakes and 2 very brave sons.
We did Xmas with the rellies then on with the reality of life in t'country. It has rained pretty much non-stop since we got here and thing reached a nadir two days ago as I cleared stable gutterings in a biblical downpour with an old broomstick perched on a rickety ladder. To be fair Yard Cat helped by yowling at me from his cosy perch in the hay which felt like criticism at the time or maybe the bugger was laughing.....
A strange phenomenon here in Smalltown, you cant engage in ANY transaction without having at least a 20min conversation. Now as a Londoner born and bred I'm used to the 'quick quick chop chop I'm outta here' school of retail but OH was practically held to ransom when he bought a chainsaw in some kind of macho tool (hehe) shop the other day, some chap asked if he wanted to go for a coffee blimey in the Smoke he'd have got a smack in the mouth. OH had to give him his phone no to get out of the shop which is the source of much merriment (mainly mine).
Chainsaws are fun especially when they KILL LEYLANDII which is our new top weekend sport, along with Getting th Tractor Stuck which gives our next door neighbour much amusement.
The horses arrived monday and seem to be a bit confused as to why it is just the two of them but are getting on with it. I can see them from the window of the Minging Mahogany Bedroom every morning or would do except some sinister moron has planted a huge palm tree in the way KILL KILL. They wait by the gate and come up for food and sleep aww bless.
Gotta go.